Recovery
by Elle Mira
Summary: After Colin survives surgery, Amy must decide between the one who first showed her love and the one who has always been there for her. COMPLETE: Chapter 7 up, R/R.
1. Doctor Brown's Success

"Colin's pulled through just fine," said Dr. Andrew Brown, passing a smile to the people in the waiting room.  
  
Everyone let out a breath of relief. Colin's mother went to give the doctor a friendly hug, and his father shook Andy's hand. Dr. Brown looked at Ephram, but the boy's expression was unreadable. The young man made eye contact with his father, looked away, and then put on his sly, purely "Ephram" smirk.  
  
Another victory for Golden Boy, thought Ephram. But he knew, deep inside, that he could never be happy if Colin had died and Ephram wasn't on good terms with him. When Colin recovered, Ephram planned to apologize . . . despite the fact that he hadn't done anything wrong.  
  
He glanced over at Amy, stared at her beaming smile and the tears that were welling up in her eyes. His eyes then drifted over to Bright, who was also grinning, hugging people in the room, and on the verge of crying.  
  
He felt Amy watching him, but he couldn't bear to look at her, so he laughed and ran to his father to congratulate him.  
  
***  
  
"How long will Colin be in the hospital?" the boy asked Andy during the drive home.  
  
"A few weeks, at the very least."  
  
"Was the surgery hard?" He paused, corrected himself, "Stupid question. 'Is brain surgery hard.' I meant, were there any problems?"  
  
"A few," Dr. Brown admitted, "but it turned out okay. All's well that ends well, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Ephram agreed. He was quiet as the car skidded to a halt on their driveway. "Dad?"  
  
"Yeah, Ephram?"  
  
"Thank you. Thanks for saving him. He deserves it."  
  
Andy smiled softly. "No problem. But just a little advice: never become a brain surgeon."  
  
"All right; no offense, but it was never exactly my life's ambition. Why not?"  
  
"Colin was lucky. This was his second miracle this year. But I could have killed a boy today and that's strange to think about. When you're a brain surgeon, one minute you're a hero, the next you're a murderer."  
  
Ephram was silent as he watched his father step out of the car and over to Nina's to pick up Delia.  
  
To be continued. . . .  
  
Thank you for reading! This is my first attempt at fan fiction. If you're wondering where the story will lead, I'm planning on having some interaction between Amy and Delia soon. Please review, thanks!  
  
--Elle 


	2. Bright's Thoughts, Delia's Braid

Bright lay back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He shut his eyes, smiling. Colin was coming back. He had survived surgery. He would return triumphantly and everything would be back to normal. It would take a while, and Amy would probably get back into the routine of taking the bus to Denver as often as she used to, but it would be worth it.  
  
A sharp knock on his bedroom door interrupted his thoughts. He looked up to find Amy watching him. "What are you doing?" she questioned.  
  
"Thinking."  
  
"You? Thinking? That's an impossibility."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"If Mom asks, I went to Ephram's, okay?" she demanded.  
  
"Sure." He was pleased that she wasn't Colin-obsessed at present and he was glad that she was starting off her summer vacation with nothing to do with bringing her boyfriend back; even if it was by spending time with that "freak."  
  
*** "Well, I don't know, sweetheart; you're a little young to be walking around town," said Andy as he put a freshly-made sandwich into Delia's lunch bag.  
  
"Oh, please, Dad, it's Everwood," Delia insisted, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Don't you use that condescending tone with me, Delia," said Andy, knitting his eyebrows and sounding anything but harsh. "Did Ephram brainwash you about this town?"  
  
"What's 'condescending' mean?"  
  
"Oh, never mind. You can go to the arcade after school, fine, just stay close to Arnie. I mean it." He knelt down and straightened the hat on his daughter's head.  
  
"I promise." Delia stalked over to the kitchen table and sat down with a thud.  
  
The doorbell sounded suddenly and Andy rose to answer it. He opened the door to reveal a smiling Amy on the porch. "Hello, Dr. Brown. Is Ephram around?"  
  
"No, Amy, I'm afraid he's not. He stepped out this morning to . . . pick up some sheet music, I think he said. But he should be back any minute; would you like to sit down and wait for him?" he invited.  
  
She stepped inside, replying, "Sure, thanks." Amy walked into the kitchen, spotted Delia coloring with markers at the table, and greeted, "Hey, Delia."  
  
"Hi, Amy," said Delia with a hint of admiration.  
  
Eyeing the young girl's backpack that sat on the table, Amy asked, "Did the elementary school get out for summer vacation yet?"  
  
"No, today's our last day," Delia replied, and then turned her attention back to her coloring.  
  
"To be honest," said Dr. Brown, looking at his watch, "Ephram said he would be back by now to make sure Delia gets on the bus all right. I need to get to work early this morning."  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it, Dr. Brown; I'll see her off," Amy said quickly.  
  
"Are you sure? I don't know when Ephram will be back."  
  
"Sure, no problem," she assured him.  
  
"All right, if you're sure, then," Dr. Brown agreed. "Delia, make sure you clean up your artwork. I'll see you later." He bent down to kiss his daughter's forehead, grabbed all of his things, and exited through the front door.  
  
Amy sat next to Delia at the table. "So . . . what's it like being the daughter of the Great Doctor Brown?"  
  
Delia shrugged. "It's okay. But . . . he's not a very good hair-braider."  
  
The other girl laughed. "It must be hard being the only girl in the house."  
  
"You have no idea. Sometimes I feel like I have no one to talk to about . . . girl stuff."  
  
Amy tucked her golden hair behind her ear and suggested, "Well, you can always tell me. Is there a girl thing you need to talk about now?"  
  
"Sort of," murmured Delia, fidgeting. "I think I have a crush on a boy."  
  
"That's really exciting, Delia!" laughed Amy. Judging by the look on Delia's face, the young girl apparently thought that she was committing a disreputable crime. "Do you want to tell me who it is?"  
  
Delia squirmed in her chair, avoiding Amy's eyes. "Well . . . it's Bright."  
  
Amy arched her eyebrows. "Bright? I'm warning you, Delia, he's not as charming as he may appear to be. He's really quite disgusting. Trust me, I know: I live in the room one door away from him. Plus, he's practically twice your age."  
  
"Oh, well," sighed Delia, throwing down her marker and leaning back in her chair flaccidly. "It's not like he'd ever like someone like me, anyway. You're so lucky, Amy. You can get whoever you want."  
  
"You mean Colin?"  
  
"Not just Colin. Ephram, too. You can get more than one guy."  
  
Amy paused and studied the girl. "You think Ephram likes me?" Of course it was obvious to her, but she wanted to see why someone as young as Delia could see it. "How do you know?"  
  
"I hear him crying at night," Delia said, bearing an impossibly innocent expression. "And one time I heard him say your name, too."  
  
Amy inhaled slowly after hearing this statement as a pang of guilt hit her. Suddenly she was filled with sympathy for the boy she had again and again mistreated and used. She had never really seen Ephram cry, and now she was involuntarily picturing him sobbing and calling out her name. . . . She winced and pushed the thoughts away.  
  
"Tell you what, Delia. You said before that your dad was a bad hair- braider. If there's time, I'll give you a French-braid before you catch the bus."  
  
Delia sprung up excitedly and flung her baseball cap across the room. "Great!" she exclaimed.  
  
Right as Amy finished up the braid, Ephram walked through the door.  
  
To be continued. . . .  
  
[A/N--Thanks for reading . . . all of you cravin' for some A/E, you're about to get it in the next few chapters. Review, please!] 


	3. Amy's Proposal, Colin's Plea

"Hey," Amy said softly to the handsome boy who stood at the door. She could have laughed at how obvious the signs of her affection for him were in one word that she spoke to him.  
  
"Hey," he responded quietly, with seemingly equal fondness toward her.  
  
"Your dad left a little while ago. I . . . stopped by to see you and. . . ."  
  
A loud honk interrupted her. Delia leapt up, put on her backpack, and bounded out the door calling, "Thanks, Amy! See you, Ephram!"  
  
He returned, "Um, see you," but by that time she was already on the bus. He turned his attention back to Amy. "Thanks for keeping an eye on her."  
  
"She really is cute."  
  
"Hah! That's what you think," Ephram warned while tossing his paper bag from the music shop on the table.  
  
"What did you get?" Amy asked, nodding at the bag.  
  
"Just some jazz. So. . . ."  
  
So, what are you here for? he thought. Why are you here in my house when your boyfriend just survived surgery?  
  
"Do you want to do something?" she asked him. "I mean, it's the high school's first day of vacation; we should celebrate."  
  
"How?" A wry smile hung upon his lips.  
  
She shrugged. "Anything. I just need to get my mind off. . . ." She was about to say "Colin" but luckily she caught herself. "Let's go to the movies."  
  
"What do you wanna see?"  
  
"It doesn't matter. Let's just go and sneak in and . . . throw popcorn at the people in front of us and have a good time. That's really what I need right now." She said the last few words in an exhausted sigh.  
  
Ephram sensed her strong emotion and broke off the seriousness by passing her a rare grin. "I think that my recklessness is starting to rub off on you. But still," he admitted, "sounds like fun."  
  
*** "I can't believe they're letting me see him so early," Bright commented to the pretty nurse who stood beside him outside of Colin's hospital room.  
  
"Somehow, he's recovering quite rapidly. He's a fighter. But still, go easy on him." She leaned over and turned the doorknob and then let the door creak open.  
  
"Of course," Bright replied, smirking at the young, attractive woman. She treaded down the hall and Bright cocked his head to study her backside.  
  
"Always on the lookout," came a voice from inside the room. "That's the Bright I know."  
  
Bright bewilderedly turned to see Colin, who was laying in a hospital bed, grinning at him. The blond boy rushed to Colin's side, exclaiming, "You're okay!"  
  
"'Course I am, man. You didn't think I'd give up that easy, did you?" Colin laughed.  
  
Bright pulled up a chair and plopped down limply upon it. "This is great, dude! And how's your memory? You remember everything?"  
  
Resentment rippled across Colin's face. He looked down. "Yeah. Everything. Before, I told you I couldn't remember what happened the night of the accident. Now I do. And I remember that time at the water, when Amy said she loved me and I didn't say anything." He met Bright's questioning gaze. "And I remember why, too." Tears were starting to form in his eyes. He shook his head. "Now I can't believe it. I don't get why I would feel that way about her."  
  
"Feel what, man? What happened?"  
  
"I just . . . I just thought the relationship was getting too serious. I didn't want it to be that way." To Bright's surprise, Colin laughed as he tried to push his tears away. "I was such a slacker then. I remember, I was going to break up with her. God! What was wrong with me? I remember telling Laynie, but did I ever tell you about this?"  
  
Bright finally found his voice and scratched, "No. No, you didn't."  
  
"Then listen to me, Bright," said Colin behind gritted teeth, "listen. Do not ever tell her. I don't care how I felt about her then. Now, I love her. I love her. That's what counts."  
  
"Sure," the other boy replied slowly. "I won't tell her."  
  
To be continued. . . .  
  
[A/N--Okay, the last part was way melodramatic, I know. But still, we're talking about a drama-based TV series here, so cut me some slack. Thanks to all the reviewers, but for those of you who don't like it, please tell me WHY you don't. Friendly criticism couldn't hurt! There'll be a new chapter up by tomorrow, thanks a bunch.] 


	4. Ephram's Confession

It was early in the evening when Amy and Ephram stepped out of the movie theater. After seeing more than one film and having quite an interesting day, Amy was once again grateful for Ephram's friendship. Somehow his presence always allowed her to open up and have fun.  
  
"So, what do you want to do now?" she asked.  
  
"As long as it doesn't involve a chick flick, whatever you want," assured Ephram, who had been dragged into seeing a couple of sappy love stories that day.  
  
"Everwood doesn't have much more that can serve as entertainment for us," Amy admitted thoughtfully.  
  
"Why doesn't that surprise me?"  
  
She turned and met his green-gray gaze. "Do you remember your first day of school, when I took you up to the mountains so you could see the whole town?"  
  
Ephram rolled his eyes. "Yeah. That was an eventful day. The first time Everwood saw purple hair."  
  
"Let's go up there again."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"The view, the memories, for the hell of it."  
  
He grinned, and with no sarcastic comment to reply, said, "Okay."  
  
*** One excruciating hike later, they stood staring down at the charming, picturesque town. Ephram remembered the conversation he'd had in that very spot with the girl of his dreams, how she had pointed out various buildings in the quaint little hamlet and how he'd seen only her. Now, they sat next to each other on the nearby bench wordlessly.  
  
"Oh, yeah," he said, breaking the silence, "there's something I want to give to you. I made it the other day, before Colin went into surgery." He handed her a thin, rectangular object wrapped in nondescript paper.  
  
"Thanks. What is it?" she asked, taking it from him.  
  
"You'll see. Open it later, after you go home."  
  
She put it into her jacket pocket. The sun was setting, creating a beautiful painting of red and pink across the Colorado sky. Ephram realized Amy had been looking at him and noticed the misery on her countenance. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong."  
  
"Amy, if nothing's wrong, why are you crying?" As he spoke, the tears that had shone in her eyes grew more evident.  
  
Amy tried to blink them back. "Out of happiness, I guess it must be. I mean, everything's perfect. Everything. My . . . my dad and my brother are speaking to me again, Colin's okay, and he said he loved me. . . ." As her quivering voice became louder, Amy knew that she was hardly talking to Ephram anymore, and that she was merely reassuring herself. "I have everything I wanted now. Everything's perfect. Everything's. . . ."  
  
Long after that day, Ephram wondered what happened next. Amy had been torturing him, telling him that her life was perfect without him and that she didn't need him, when to his utmost shock she leaned over and kissed him.  
  
He must have pulled away, for a moment later he found himself staring into the moist pair of brown eyes that looked as frightened as he felt. Amy said, "I have to go," and stood up hastily and started to walk off.  
  
He wasn't going to let her get away so easily. He walked toward her and pleaded, "Amy. Please."  
  
She spun around and faced him. "I'm sorry, Ephram. All right? I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me, but I can't--"  
  
"I do," he told her confidently. "This seems strangely familiar to me, and I'm not going to let it happen again. I'm starting to see a pattern here. We kiss and then pretend it never happened. Well, let's just leave it out in the open, okay? You kissed me. There!" He stopped and listened to his raised voice echo through the mountains. He panted and stared at her, waiting.  
  
"You know I can't do this, Ephram. You know this isn't--"  
  
"Amy," he interrupted, with tears now filling his eyes, "I love you."  
  
Say it back, say it back, he thought. Say something!  
  
But there was nothing. Nothing but his pleading, tormented stare and the shock that resided on her face. She moved her lip once, twice, as though she was about to say something, but then held back. Ephram continued to wonder if the stunned expression she was bearing was good or bad. He wondered if he had been an idiot to tell her how he felt for so long now.  
  
And when she ran off through the wilderness of the mountains, he started to believe it.  
  
To be continued. . . .  
  
[A/N--I'd like to tell you what my plans are for this fic. It seems like almost all of the Ephram/Amy writers have fics about Colin going nuts/trying to rape Amy/dying. No offense to those people in any way, of course! I'm just taking a different approach. I want this fic to be about Amy looking at both boys and making her final choice based on their characters without me stepping in. Ugh, I'm rambling. Just thought I'd share the overall goal with you. Thanks so much to everyone! Review if you haven't yet, and I'll post a new chapter by tomorrow.] 


	5. Ephram's Surrender, Amy's Confusion

Ephram sauntered through his front door and slammed it behind him. Andy, who had been sitting on the couch, looked up at him in question. "Where've you been?"  
  
"Out," Ephram replied nonchalantly as he started to walk up the stairs.  
  
"Could you be a little more specific, please?"  
  
He opened the door to his bedroom. "Just leave me alone," the boy countered. He disappeared into his room.  
  
Andy sighed. "I thought I was doing so well. . . ."  
  
The man journeyed up the staircase and joined his son in the bedroom. When he saw him, Ephram turned on a nearby stereo and started blasting heavy metal music. He then began pulling things out of his closet.  
  
"Ephram. Ephram, turn that damn thing down! Ephram. . . ." Andy reached over and turned off the stereo, but Ephram continued to assemble a pile of clothes on his bed. "Ephram, just because something bad happened to you, doesn't mean you can use me as a punching bag." The boy stood still and met his father's stare. Dr. Brown continued, "Whatever it is, let me help you. You can't take it out on me."  
  
Their staring contest continued and time seemed to stop. Then the boy resumed his former chores, and said, "You're right."  
  
Andy arched his eyebrows. "I'm 'right'? Wow. I have to remember this moment."  
  
"Don't overdo it. But, you're right."  
  
"Ephram . . . what are you doing?"  
  
"Packing."  
  
"And for what, pray tell?"  
  
Ephram glanced at his father fiercely. "I'm going back to New York for the rest of the summer!"  
  
Andy was speechless for a moment. "Ephram . . . are you sure? You'd just be running away."  
  
"I'm sure. And I don't care if I'm running away." He forcefully started to stuff clothes into a duffel bag.  
  
"But I thought you'd finally accepted Everwood as home. . . ."  
  
"I do. And if I go to New York for the summer, that's not going to change."  
  
"What is this about?" asked Dr. Brown.  
  
Ephram merely sighed.  
  
*** Amy in a booth at Mama Joy's with her head in her arms and her brown eyes gazing off into the distance, thinking about nothing but Ephram. She felt guilty that she couldn't get her mind off of him--she felt disloyal to Colin. However, thoughts of her boyfriend hadn't crossed her mind after she had come back that evening. She wished they would because Colin, after all, was the reason that she had refused Ephram . . . after kissing him. . . .  
  
She was totally confused.  
  
Why HAD she kissed him? What had come over her? What was it that possessed her about Ephram Brown's innocent face that always caused her to melt? The worst part was that she knew that she was toying with him. She knew that she was torturing him by falling for him and then going back to Colin again and again, but she just couldn't help it.  
  
Her grandmother came up behind her, greeting her, "Hey, Private. What's up?"  
  
"The sky," Amy mumbled.  
  
"Hmm. You've inherited your father's wit," Edna grumbled sarcastically. She sat down at the booth across from her granddaughter and threw her bag onto the table. "What's on your mind?"  
  
"Nothing." Amy guessed that her grandmother wouldn't understand this particular dilemma.  
  
"Come on, you can tell me, kiddo," she insisted, punching the girl's arm. "What is it? Boy trouble?"  
  
Amy met Edna's questioning glance.  
  
"Oh. Mmm hmm. And which boy does this concern?"  
  
Edna's granddaughter then finally decided to give in, needing desperately someone to confide in. "Ephram."  
  
"Okay . . . more details. . . ."  
  
"Something happened. It was mostly my fault, but then Ephram . . . well, it really shouldn't be an issue. If he's really my friend he wouldn't put me in the position of having to choose between him and Colin--"  
  
"Oh, can it, soldier," Edna suddenly demanded, receiving a confused look from Amy. "Ephram didn't do anything wrong but fall in love with you. Is that a crime now? Listen, Amy, I know you want to blame someone, but the truth is, you can't. Ephram didn't do anything wrong, Colin didn't do anything wrong. As much as you want one of them to be evil, it won't be that easy. You have to look at Ephram, and look at Colin and just make a goddamn choice!"  
  
Although Edna's raised voice was slightly intimidating, Amy said calmly, "It's not that easy, Grandma."  
  
"I know it's not easy, kiddo, that's the idea. But you should know; deep down, you know who it is."  
  
Amy shook her head. "No, I don't."  
  
"Yeah, you do. Now, I might not be as smart as you are, but I'm not stupid. If there's one thing I want, it's for you to stop stalling. Don't just pick Ephram because you feel obligated to him and don't just pick Colin because you're afraid that he needs you. Pick whoever makes you happiest, Aim, that's the important thing."  
  
*** An hour later she lay on her bed, still in utter confusion. A few moments later her eyes went back into focus and she moved her hand to her jacket pocket, remembering the package that Ephram had given her. She pulled it out, unwrapped it, and found a CD inside. It was obviously homemade, with a clear case and a CD inside that said, "For Amy" on it in black marker and in Ephram's handwriting. She walked over to her CD player and put it inside. Beautiful piano music filled the room. She recognized the song right away: it was her song, the one Ephram had written for her.  
  
She noticed something that she hadn't before: a note stuck inside the wrapping paper. She pulled it out and read the message scrawled on the small piece of paper:  
  
"Dear Amy,  
  
I know I already gave you a CD, I just thought you might want to have one with the song I wrote for you on it. Maybe it'll get your mind off of Colin. He's lucky to have you, by the way. I've never seen anyone so devoted as you are to him. Don't ever change, and know that if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be here, Amy.  
  
Ephram"  
  
The note had been written before Colin's miraculous survival and the last part, she realized, was implying that if Colin died in surgery, Ephram would help her through it. She knew it was true, too. Ephram had always been the shoulder for her to cry on, the one who was there for her when no one else was, the one who truly understood her.  
  
*** The bus ride to Denver had been especially boring for her this morning, and when she reached the hospital room, she was filled with anticipation. She didn't know particularly what she was planning on saying to her boyfriend, and then realized that this was part of what Ephram did to her. He made her live life from day to day without a straightforward strategy for what she was to do. She almost liked the feeling, the lack of expectation.  
  
Colin's face was exactly the same, although his hair was gone and his eyes seemed slightly weary. But when he saw her, the familiar eyes turned back to the way she remembered them, lighting up with gladness. "Amy," he called out, and with effort, opening his arms.  
  
She flew to his embrace. When it ended, she sat beside him and he took her hand in his and stroked it. "You . . . you're all right?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm fine," Colin said, looking concerned for her. "What is it, Amy?"  
  
She shook her head and her eyes were soon blurred with tears. "I guess I'm just tired. Tired emotionally, I mean. I've worked so hard to get you back and now," she said, smiling, "you're back."  
  
Colin did not return the smile, and said reluctantly, "Aim, I don't know how to thank you. You've done so much for me. I didn't deserve it."  
  
"Of course you did."  
  
"No, I didn't," he said.  
  
Sensing the seriousness in his voice, the smile faded from Amy's face. "What do you mean?"  
  
Colin was unable to hide his hesitation and lack of confidence. "I just . . . before the crash, I. . . . It's not important now."  
  
Amy was staring at him quizzically now. "Are you hiding something from me, Colin?"  
  
"Nothing. It's nothing."  
  
"Please. You can tell me. Come on."  
  
"It doesn't matter now . . . but . . . no, I can't tell you."  
  
"You can tell me."  
  
He stared at her long and hard for a few moments and then began, "Before the crash, I . . . I was gonna break up with you, Amy. I thought that I didn't love you and that I didn't want such a serious relationship. But I'm glad that I got in that crash. If I hadn't I would have lost you. I can't tell you how sorry I am. And like I said, it doesn't matter anymore. . . ."  
  
Amy stood up with horror evident on her countenance. "I doesn't 'matter' anymore? It matters to me. You don't know what it was like, Colin. I gave up so much of my life for you. Do you know how many hours I sat there just reading you books or playing music for you or talking to you like an IDIOT who couldn't accept something that she had lost? I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was BREATHING your recovery and trying to make it happen."  
  
"I know, Amy," Colin begged, "and I'll always be grateful to you for that. But you don't understand; I love you now, and--"  
  
"No, YOU don't understand. Out of all of your family and your friends, I was the one who was there for you most often because I thought that you loved me and that when you came back, everything would be all right. But it wasn't. Because I never really had you. You can't just tell me that all of that time that I spent on you was for nothing and then expect me to not care. It doesn't matter if you love me now, Colin. I will always be hurt because of this."  
  
"But that time that you spent on me WASN'T for nothing, I--"  
  
"It's too late," she told him. She started to walk out the door, but then suddenly remembered what Edna had told her. You're doing it again, she thought. You're trying to find an excuse to get rid of him. She spun around. "Wait . . . no." She walked over to him. She spoke softly and gently now, "The truth is, what you just told me isn't what this is about. It does hurt, but you're right: it shouldn't matter. I just think that it's time to end this; I've been disregarding those feelings for so long but now it just has to be done. And I love you, Colin; you know I love you. But sometimes I wonder, what with our relationship being so unstable now, if you could use a friend more than a girlfriend."  
  
Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "No, Amy. I love you. I really do."  
  
"I know, Colin, and I will always love you too," she whimpered. "You showed me how to love. You taught me what it was and my love for you will always be here. But we're drifting. And we can't ignore that. Like I said, I'm emotionally tired, and I just . . . I'm just starting to think that everything that we had is gone. I don't know why, but I really would like to stop trying but walk out of this room knowing that we're not angry with each other. I think the reason for all this is because you gave me this fairy-tale, and I'm starting to realize that . . . maybe that's not what I want, you know? Maybe I don't like this fantasy so much because I got a taste of the real world, a taste of reality." Ephram, she thought, partly bitterly and partly with fondness. "You haven't done anything wrong."  
  
There was a long silence. Then Colin looked up at her and said, "Because I love you so much, Amy, I really do respect you and . . . if breaking up's what you want, then. . . ."  
  
"Not breaking up," she corrected, shaking her head. "Because what we have will last forever. It really was meant to be. What I have with you is so wonderful, Colin, and that's why it will always be with me. We were a legend together. We were. But it has to end now."  
  
His eyes sparkled, and Amy thought that he looked as though he understood because he nodded.  
  
Amy left the hospital that at about noon, and it was late in the afternoon when she got back to Everwood. She knew what she had to do.  
  
[A/N--Thanks for reading! Sorry it took me a long time to get this chapter up; usually I post a new chapter each day. I hate writer's block! I'll try to get back into that and write a new one by tomorrow. Please review! Come on, it won't hurt. . . . --Elle] 


	6. Amy's Letter

She found him at the grocery store, prudently examining packs of gum with several in his hand. She stood behind him for a few seconds, just watching him be his unique self, and then said, "That's a lot of gum."  
  
Amy guessed that he knew it was her because he didn't even spare her a glance. "Yeah, well, they say chewing gum keeps your ears from hurting on planes."  
  
Her heart stood still. This was everything she had feared after re- examining her situation with Ephram on the long bus ride home from Denver. "And . . . what plane would that be?"  
  
He said monotonously, "The one that goes to New York tomorrow morning."  
  
Tears immediately sprung into her eyes and she furiously tried to push them back. "You're going back?"  
  
Ephram walked to the cash register and Amy followed him insistently. "Even though I know you'll miss me terribly," he informed her with obvious sarcasm, "I'll be gone for the rest of the summer." He handed the gum to the cashier.  
  
"No, Ephram, you can't," Amy beseeched.  
  
"I sure as hell can," he countered while paying for his purchases with a wad of cash from his pocket. "You don't control me."  
  
"Of course I don't," she began, now chasing him outside into the cold Colorado air. "I--"  
  
Ephram suddenly stopped walking and acknowledged her by looking into her eyes with a piercing, cold stare. "What are you doing here, Amy? Did you come here to start this everlasting cycle again of our stupid love-hate relationship?"  
  
"No, Ephram! I'm here because I . . . I'm afraid that the next time I do, you won't be here anymore." Her lip quivered as she continued to try to force back her tears. "I'm here to end that cycle! I'm here to apologize!"  
  
"Too late!" he yelled at her with pain in his eyes. "And I 'won't be here anymore' by tomorrow. But you'll get over it, what with having Golden Boy and all," he said cruelly.  
  
"Don't say that," she sobbed, shaking her head.  
  
"I'm sick of being second best, Amy. I'm always the one you'll settle for when Colin's not around. I'm the one you always talk to about Colin. Colin, Colin, Colin. At the hospital, you said I was always taking care of you. And you're right. That's what I'm sick of. I don't have any reason to sit around and wait for you anymore! I'm done!" He intended those to be his last words, his exit line, and he started to tramp off. But Amy wouldn't allow it.  
  
"Wait!" she pleaded. He spun around and answered only with his rebellious visage. "I didn't think you would forgive me. So I wrote you this." She jabbed a letter in an envelope into his chest. "Just read it before you leave . . . please."  
  
He looked at her, looked at the letter, and back at her again. Finally he reached out and took it hesitantly. "It might slip my mind," he threatened.  
  
***  
  
Earlier that day, Amy had written the letter. She had put her heart and soul into writing it, hoping that it would earn his forgiveness.  
  
Dear Ephram,  
  
I know you must really hate me right now. I know what it feels like, to tell someone you love them without hearing them say it back. There I go again, talking about Colin. I know you must hate that. But I have to talk about him just one more time. And then I never will again.  
  
Colin showed me what love meant. We'd always been childhood sweethearts and everyone knew we were meant to be together. He gave me this perfect, perfect fairytale and I hid behind it and pretended that I was as perfect as it made me look. It took the accident to make me realize that fairytales aren't real. When Colin went into the coma, I wanted to get the fantasy back that had been a part of me for so long and that is what made me try so hard to get him back. I knew it was all falling apart before my eyes, but I ignored it. Even when Colin came back, it wasn't the same.  
  
I can have my fairytale now. Colin is alive and healthy again and he wanted me to return to the fantasy. But now, I don't want it. So I turned Colin down. Now I know that things can never be perfect, no matter how much I want them to be, and although faking perfection makes you look wonderful, it isn't what I want.  
  
But things can be satisfying. Which is what you are to me. I don't want to be perfect anymore. I want to be you. I want to be spontaneous and unique and someone who can head out and be whoever they want to be because they don't have the limitations of being perfect.  
  
The reason that you are so special, Ephram, is because you made me realize that I didn't want the perfect life. Although Colin showed me love, you did something he didn't. You made me think. You made me question everything I had and consider throwing it all out the window just for you. That's something I never had done before. You set me free, Ephram, and that is why I can honestly say that I love you. Because you yourself are perfect in your imperfection.  
  
--Amy  
  
[A/N--Will Ephram read the letter in time? Will he accept Amy or not? You'll have to read to find out in the next and final chapter! Thank you so much to all of you who have reviewed, especially those who have reviewed multiple times! I've had so much fun writing this fic. Please review, and don't forget to read the next chapter soon.] 


	7. The Story's End

[A/N--Okay, I am WAY proud of this chapter. I think it will make this story go out with a bang. I'd like to thank all of you SO much for reviewing! You have no idea how much it means to me. Really. Unfortunately, I don't know if I'll be doing Fan Fiction for a while, besides one-chapter little ficlets. I have a new obsession, too: FictionPress.com. I'll be uploading some original fiction there soon, so look for me under the same name: Elle Mira. It's just like ff.net, but much bigger.  
  
So anyway, the story continues. . . .  
  
--Elle]  
  
She was sitting on the bench buried deep in scenic Colorado Mountains, looking down at the charming little settlement that lay nestled beneath her. She breathed in and out slowly and filled her nostrils with the smell of pine trees as she took in the beauteous view and wildlife and tried to forget her troubles.  
  
A bird chirped nearby and awakened her from her blank stare. Suddenly all of her worries flooded into her mind somehow in one word.  
  
Ephram.  
  
A day had passed since she had last seen him, and supposedly he had left for New York that morning.  
  
Her hands clenched into fists as she remembered his last words to her: "It might slip my mind. . . ." Stubborn Ephram, she thought spitefully. Opinionated, headstrong, and totally lovable.  
  
"Ephram," she whispered to no one in particular, shaking her head.  
  
And now Colin was gone from her, although, she told herself quickly, their love had already been fading. He had been gone long ago. A day ago she had had "two guys," as Delia had so childishly put it, and now she had no one. She had nothing but memories of a new and exciting love and the love that still resonated in her heart that she knew she could never have.  
  
She felt lonely.  
  
And then she thought of all the times she had left Ephram alone and felt her love for him only grow. She looked up at the sapphire-blue sky and the diamonds that twinkled in it. She wondered if, a few thousand miles away, Ephram was watching the same stars. She wondered if he was thinking of her. Or if he had thought of her. Or if he had read the letter. She knew that all of these hopes were irretrievable. But like an addict needed his drugs, she needed her Ephram, and the closer she got to him the more she needed of him, even if it was only through thinking about him. It was a relief after all the denial she had gone through, all the times she had tried to assure herself that she did not have feelings for her best friend. All the times she had tried to assure herself that he wasn't even her best friend.  
  
She thought of earlier that day, how she had tried to be her usual lively self but how, for the first time since Colin's earliest brain surgery, she broke down. Without Ephram, she felt like half of a person. She'd never been that dependent on anyone before.  
  
Desperate for something, she went up to the mountains again at about eight o'clock that evening. Her father had stopped her at the door, saying nothing but, "Amy. Don't do this to yourself."  
  
She had looked at the expression on his face and realized that he thought she was still unstable about Colin's recovery. But he didn't know. He didn't know that it was the recovery of her and Ephram, united, that she wanted and needed to aid.  
  
Out of pity, Harold had let her go, and for reasons she could not explain she sat down on the bench and waited, hoping for a beam to come from one of the stars that twinkled cheerily above and zap Ephram to her side. She could have laughed at her self for such a silly notion, but she didn't. It would be a long time before she laughed again, she assumed.  
  
So she waited, but nothing came.  
  
She said loudly, although she had no intention of going anywhere, "What am I doing here. . . ."  
  
A voice behind her said, "I was just asking myself the same question."  
  
She knew that voice. She turned her head slowly, as to not let the speaker get away before this fantasy ended. But there he was. Immersed in moonlight, Ephram Brown.  
  
"It was like something just called me up here," he said thoughtfully. He turned and looked up at the dark sky. She thought she would remember that profile of Ephram standing against a backdrop of stars until the day she died.  
  
She whispered his name. "Ephram." His face grew serious as he said beside her. She muttered something so softly it was nearly indecipherable, "Why are you. . . . "  
  
"Why am I here?" he finished for her. "Because I couldn't go." So fixedly staring into each other's eyes, they hardly noticed when his strong hand met her delicate one and in a mutual motion they clasped them together. "You've always been so far away, Amy. You've always made me feel like it was hopeless for me to even try to win you over." His voice cracked with emotion.  
  
"Ephram, I don't deserve you. It took me a while to realize that and finally work up the courage to go against what my friends thought. I know I've hurt you so many times. It doesn't make much sense, but it's just my strange way of telling you what I feel for you."  
  
He had never seen her speak this openly about him. "When you gave me the letter . . . I thought you would just want to be my friend again and go back to the way it was before." A smile crept over his face. "I read it at the airport. My dad wasn't too happy when I told him we would have to take the long drive back home. Driving for hours at a time, it seems, isn't exactly his forte. But . . . he understood."  
  
"You didn't want to go to New York." It was a statement, a slow realization.  
  
"No," he told her.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you're here."  
  
Her perfect brown eyes widened. Amy knew that took a lot for him to admit such a thing after all she had put him through. She blurted out, smiling and no longer fighting the inevitable, "I love you."  
  
She started to lean forward like she had the day before, except now she was perfectly aware of what she was doing. But this time, it was shared movement, because Ephram was the one to push forward and meet her soft lips with his own. She rested her hands on his neck, knowing that he was finally hers and knowing that she was complete.  
  
But in a few seconds, both of them broke off the kiss abruptly and leaned on each other.  
  
For a breeze had gone through them, giving off something that neither of them had felt in what seemed like an eternity.  
  
It felt . . . warm. Well, not entirely warm . . . but it was a beginning.  
  
And Ephram smiled. In the back of his mind, he believed it was his mother.  
  
The zephyr merrily swept through them once more, breathing through Amy's golden hair, giving the two lovebirds a taste of a Colorado summer that would begin in a month or so, that would be short but wonderful, to come after the long cold winter that still had not ended. The breeze then shot up to the treetops and played in a bed of flowers, it hovered over the mountains and then came plunging back down again.  
  
When it met the lovers once more, they were kissing again. But then it was gone and the mountains were silent.  
  
--Fin-- 


End file.
